Having a child can make give you a new outlook on life. These past 2 1/2 years I've realized that having a young child makes you appreciate what you now take for granted... like how many ladybugs you can see if you just walk around the block, how exciting a fire engine can be, how victorious one can feel when you're tall enough to use a light switch, and how interesting one's first taste of a cheese other than cheddar can be. To date, here are some of my favorite, most valuable and most humorous lessons:
1. In the case of Time Outs, 'tis better to give than to receive (yes, I've been given a time out).
2. You can say a million things while watching a sporting event and the ones your child will grab on to and repeat will be things like "Jesus Christ!" and "Holy Crap" (note to self: stop swearing or watching sports).
3. You are never too full for chocolate milk and whipped cream.
4. Just when you think your child won't pee or poop on you, they will... and laugh about it.
5. Feeding a dog is infinitely more fun than eating the food yourself.
6. Any movie a 2 1/2 year old wants to see is "really cool"
7. A park is not a necessary destination for a walk if there are bulldozers to climb on the way!
8. Potties are exciting until you HAVE to learn to use them.
9. Anything tastes better when eaten off of Mommy's plate or drunk from Mommy's cup.
10. A favorite food one day can turn to a hated item the very next day.
11. Sharing is not a necessity in life.
12. Why wear clothes when a perfectly good Batman costume is available?
13. When your child is in said Batman costume, it is not wise to address him by his given name unless you would like to be corrected (as in, " No mom! I'm Batman!")
14. It is better to supervise than to perform (e.g. when I asked William to clean up his Legos he replied, "no, I'll watch you do it.")
15. No toys at the table is an important rule, if you want your child to eat. However, putting a toy out of reach and assuring your child the toy will "watch" him eat can suddenly improve his appetite immensely.
16. "Fine I'm leaving without you," is a very motivational phrase... and one your child will turn around and use right back on you as soon as they've mastered it.
17. The best way to teach your child a rule is to let them administer the rule themselves: case in point, we use the phrase "no we're eating as a family" whenever William asks to be excused mid-dinner, but he loves for us to ask to be excused so he can repeat the rule back to us.
18. Crying is temporary... if you can live through it, you can teach a young child to sit through an entire dinner, sleep by his/herself, play quietly in a restaurant, use good manners and follow household rules.
19. Children are VERY honest... they have no qualms about rating your cooking loudly and immediately. Unfortunately, they will also do the same to other's cooking as well, so make sure friends and family are not easily insulted!
20. There is no such thing as reading one book too many times, viewing one movie too many times or doing something funny too many times. Be prepared to know the phrase "again."
21. Children can spot the TINIEST spec of something they don't like in their food (e.g. finely dicing a red bell pepper and combining it with chicken, cheese and salsa in a quesadilla is fruitless as the child WILL spot the bell pepper).
22. "But you're my buddy" is a phrase that should stop all unwanted tickling, wrestling and discipline, or so my son thinks!
23. Don't get too excited when your infant starts sleeping through the night... that ability will wax and wane over the next few years due to growth spurts, teeth, new fears, illness, etc.
24. Friends are great until they want to play with your toys.
25. It's funny to splash or squirt mommy with a bath toy while taking a bath, especially if she wears glasses.
26. You cannot make a child into a morning or night person... they will make that determination on their own.
27. The best way to teach a child good manners is to model them yourself.
28. At least once, you will laugh at inappropriate behavior despite your best efforts not to.
29. Keep a baby monitor in a kids room long after infancy... you will hear some great things as they fall asleep or wake up. (e.g. heard blaring from our monitor as he woke from a nap, "HEELLOOOOOO! Will somebody come get me!")
30. Just when you think you can't love your child any more than you already do, your heart will grow.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Of Potty Training (God help us all)
So we've started the potty training adventure and I gotta say (in the immortal words of many a Star Wars character)... I've got a bad feeling about this.
For those of you who don't know, William has had poop issues from day one (sorry to be blunt, but as a parent you get used to talking bodily functions). So now we get to add that to his unwillingness to use the potty. Every once in a GREAT while, he's cool about using it. And apparently, my son is a sucker for peer pressure, because he offers no such protest at day care. Agh! I hear from Deb (his sitter) about how he calmly walks into the bathroom and does his thing and I feel like the most inadequate mother ever. I think he has calmly accepted the potty, like 3 times at home max. Otherwise, from the screaming and protesting that ensues, one would think that Mike and I have installed a medieval torture device in our bathroom.
When we first bought the potty, many moons ago just to get him used to it, he liked it. He would sit on it and celebrate the fact that it plays music each time he manages to make a deposit into the bowl. I should have tried training him then, because now, it's a nightmare. I swear the child would prefer a time-out to the damned toilet. The fact that we're doing this while I'm at the end of my pregnancy, in mucho pain and on bedrest, is not helping. But it would be torture either way.
The thing is, once he does the deed, he's thrilled. The toilet plays its little royal trumpet music (it's shaped like a throne, get it? someone had a sense of humor!), he gets to flush it all down the big toilet, wash his hands in the big sink and announce loudly that he's peed or pooped. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to remember the thrill of victory the next time he tries. Again, he's already had major poop issues and gets TERRIFIED about going, so whenever we mention the toilet he assumes it's about poop and the wailing begins.
The sitter, Deb, keeps assuring us this will go quickly because he holds it so well, is great about it at her place and is old enough to want to please. Apparently she gets good William while we get Satan, so I will just pray she is right. Is this one of those things where kids are just awesome with the sitter and terrible s@#!s to their parents? Hmmm... I don't know, but I'm telling ya... I've got a bad feeling about this.
For those of you who don't know, William has had poop issues from day one (sorry to be blunt, but as a parent you get used to talking bodily functions). So now we get to add that to his unwillingness to use the potty. Every once in a GREAT while, he's cool about using it. And apparently, my son is a sucker for peer pressure, because he offers no such protest at day care. Agh! I hear from Deb (his sitter) about how he calmly walks into the bathroom and does his thing and I feel like the most inadequate mother ever. I think he has calmly accepted the potty, like 3 times at home max. Otherwise, from the screaming and protesting that ensues, one would think that Mike and I have installed a medieval torture device in our bathroom.
When we first bought the potty, many moons ago just to get him used to it, he liked it. He would sit on it and celebrate the fact that it plays music each time he manages to make a deposit into the bowl. I should have tried training him then, because now, it's a nightmare. I swear the child would prefer a time-out to the damned toilet. The fact that we're doing this while I'm at the end of my pregnancy, in mucho pain and on bedrest, is not helping. But it would be torture either way.
The thing is, once he does the deed, he's thrilled. The toilet plays its little royal trumpet music (it's shaped like a throne, get it? someone had a sense of humor!), he gets to flush it all down the big toilet, wash his hands in the big sink and announce loudly that he's peed or pooped. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to remember the thrill of victory the next time he tries. Again, he's already had major poop issues and gets TERRIFIED about going, so whenever we mention the toilet he assumes it's about poop and the wailing begins.
The sitter, Deb, keeps assuring us this will go quickly because he holds it so well, is great about it at her place and is old enough to want to please. Apparently she gets good William while we get Satan, so I will just pray she is right. Is this one of those things where kids are just awesome with the sitter and terrible s@#!s to their parents? Hmmm... I don't know, but I'm telling ya... I've got a bad feeling about this.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
When Sleep Isn't Sleep
Those of you who are parents know that sometimes you sleep with your kid because they want to, other times because YOU do. You see, William sleeps by himself quite well... has since he was 7 weeks old. So we've never had the major struggles or worries about letting him sleep with one of us (or having us sleep with him) every once in a great while.
The thing any parent can tell you is that when you sleep with your child... you don't sleep. There are a number of reasons:
1) They're sick. Especially when they are infants and you're as paranoid a mom as I am... you won't sleep. You'll spend the night repositioning them so they can breath, not vomit, not cough, etc. You'll spend the night feeling their forehead, adding or removing blankets and/or clothing, wiping noses with tissue, heads with washcloths or (in the worst-case scenario) having to strip and re-make the bed. But you'll do it with little/no anger, just a resigned sense of love and duty as you suddenly remember your parents did this for you and you suddenly realize there is no way to thank them for all their sacrifices and sleepless nights.
2) They're "movers". William is a mover (as i believe his sister will be if her in-utero actions are any indication). This is karma kids. I was a mover, you see. Mom and sis both did not want to share a bed with me for fear of looking like they came out of the wrong side of a heavy-weight title match in the morning. I kicked, flailed, rolled, punched, smacked and wriggled. I can remember waking up as a child with my head at the foot of my bed and my feet on my pillows by morning. Well... William is the same. Sometimes I'm so tired, it pisses me off... but mostly I laugh. I laugh because I now know what I did to my mom. I remember the first time I slept with William when he was too old to be held while we slept and he rolled over and socked me right in the eye. I laughed so hard I nearly woke him up. I had to call mom the next morning and tell her that karma had struck back in her honor. I've also woken up with his feet in my face, his butt in my back, his palm slapping my forehead, his finger in my nose... you get the picture.
3) This best reason for no sleep... because you can't stop watching them. Last night as a "treat" William and I slept in the bed in the office because for some strange reason, he LOVES to sleep in the office. That and due to some pre-term labor issues, I'm limiting trips upstairs. So after he falls asleep, I get up to do some emailing and eating and when I return to bed, I find I can't sleep. I'm just staring at this little wonder who is hugging my body pillow like he's the pregnant one and marvelling that he came from me. In his sleep he grabs my hand and holds it and I'm just gone. I'm so in love with motherhood I can't take it. I must have watched him for over an hour before falling asleep. In that hour he moves all over the place, checks for me, snores and stops, pulls a blanket onto himself and then onto me, shoves the blanket off both of us and then finally rolls far onto the other pillow. I watch it all just amazed at this life and wishing it would all slow down.
He's already 2 1/2 with a sister on the way and it feels like he was just born sometimes. I call him a baby and realize he isn't. It's so wild and wonderful and crazy and beautiful. Now I know my my mom says she wouldn't trade motherhood for anything.
The thing any parent can tell you is that when you sleep with your child... you don't sleep. There are a number of reasons:
1) They're sick. Especially when they are infants and you're as paranoid a mom as I am... you won't sleep. You'll spend the night repositioning them so they can breath, not vomit, not cough, etc. You'll spend the night feeling their forehead, adding or removing blankets and/or clothing, wiping noses with tissue, heads with washcloths or (in the worst-case scenario) having to strip and re-make the bed. But you'll do it with little/no anger, just a resigned sense of love and duty as you suddenly remember your parents did this for you and you suddenly realize there is no way to thank them for all their sacrifices and sleepless nights.
2) They're "movers". William is a mover (as i believe his sister will be if her in-utero actions are any indication). This is karma kids. I was a mover, you see. Mom and sis both did not want to share a bed with me for fear of looking like they came out of the wrong side of a heavy-weight title match in the morning. I kicked, flailed, rolled, punched, smacked and wriggled. I can remember waking up as a child with my head at the foot of my bed and my feet on my pillows by morning. Well... William is the same. Sometimes I'm so tired, it pisses me off... but mostly I laugh. I laugh because I now know what I did to my mom. I remember the first time I slept with William when he was too old to be held while we slept and he rolled over and socked me right in the eye. I laughed so hard I nearly woke him up. I had to call mom the next morning and tell her that karma had struck back in her honor. I've also woken up with his feet in my face, his butt in my back, his palm slapping my forehead, his finger in my nose... you get the picture.
3) This best reason for no sleep... because you can't stop watching them. Last night as a "treat" William and I slept in the bed in the office because for some strange reason, he LOVES to sleep in the office. That and due to some pre-term labor issues, I'm limiting trips upstairs. So after he falls asleep, I get up to do some emailing and eating and when I return to bed, I find I can't sleep. I'm just staring at this little wonder who is hugging my body pillow like he's the pregnant one and marvelling that he came from me. In his sleep he grabs my hand and holds it and I'm just gone. I'm so in love with motherhood I can't take it. I must have watched him for over an hour before falling asleep. In that hour he moves all over the place, checks for me, snores and stops, pulls a blanket onto himself and then onto me, shoves the blanket off both of us and then finally rolls far onto the other pillow. I watch it all just amazed at this life and wishing it would all slow down.
He's already 2 1/2 with a sister on the way and it feels like he was just born sometimes. I call him a baby and realize he isn't. It's so wild and wonderful and crazy and beautiful. Now I know my my mom says she wouldn't trade motherhood for anything.
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