Moments in early motherhood can often make one think one of two things - #1 "Did I sign up for this?" or #2 "This is the best job ever!" Thank God, I find myself thinking more of the latter than the former. But truth be told... there are moments when I wonder if a totally sane person decides to be a parent. Here are some of my favorite moments in recent history that have prompted the use of the phrases listed above:
#1 - WHATEVER!! Recently, while at a friend's house, my husband instructed my son not to do something. When he failed to listen my husband said, "William take a time out!" To which William replied, "WhatEVER!". Okay, he's THREE! Shouldn't there be a one in front of that number before we hear this phrase spat at us in an exasperated tone? I mean seriously... whatEVER! Who does this kid think he is? Mike and I stared incredulously at eachother (and each secretly reminded ourselves that beating a child is not a good idea). Now, I would love to deflect blame for this onto some unsuspecting older child at day care, but the truth is, it's probably my fault. I have found myself muttering (okay, also maybe yelled once or twice) "whatever" at William when I'm just done with his antics and have to walk away. Ooops. Way to go mom.
#2 - FINE!! Again, this phrase was spat at me with all the disgust William could muster one evening when I told him that he had lost his bedtime stories due to bad behavior. And again, the blame for this probably lays on my shoulders. STILL... to have a 3 year old yelling "Fine" at you like some kind of teenager who has been grounded is INFURIATING and would be funny if I weren't tired and working very hard to control my frustration so that I don't look like a hypocrite when I tell my son not to yell when he's frustrated.
#3 - Want to make yourself another? This phrase was uttered to my husband in one of those moments that makes you so thankful to be a parent and get to watch how children learn to reason and think. William had sat down to the lunch he SAID he wanted, however, we have learned that what is on our plates always looks infinitely better to William. I'm off taking care of Elizabeth when Mike sits down next to William with little egg & cheese english muffin sandwiches that he has made for himself. William asks Mike, "Can we share?" (This is his way of eating all your lunch, but making it sound generous). Mike tells him he needs to finish his own lunch first. So William eats more, declares he is done with his food, and looks at Mike's now empty plate and asks where the sandwiches are. Mike says, "I ate them all." William takes this in, thinks for a moment and then asks, "Well, do you want to make yourself another one?" We DIED and agreed we have the cutest son EVER.
#4 - Daddy always turns the TV on! Mike and I take turns on the weekends getting up with the kids so that we can each have one "sleep in" day. It was one of my early days and I was playing upstairs with William when he asked if we could watch some TV. I told him no, too much TV was not a good thing and we could play or do a puzzle. He then grunt/shouted "aaaghgh!" and glared at me, yelling "Daddy always turns the TV on!" (#1 this isn't true and #2 since when did he try to start playing us off one another?!). When I just said, "well... I'm not Daddy" he then walked away and said, "I'm frustrated with you mommy!" Quite honestly, I was torn between laughing and killing him. Instead, I distracted myself with Elizabeth.
#5 - I'm not frustrated with you... just with HIM! So the other day, we're coming back from the park and William asks if he can watch TV when we get home. Mike and I both reply "no" and Mike reminds him that we've already told him it's time for stories and naps when we get home. William tries to argue with us, but we both tell him it's not up for debate. Now, somehow or another, he either decides that it's all Daddy being evil OR he has decided to again try to play us off one another to get what he wants. Because as I get him out of the car and he's grumbling to himself he smiles sweetly at me and says, "Hi Mommy! It's okay... I'm not frustrated with you, I'm just frustrated with HIM!" and he nods his head toward his Daddy. I cannot BELIEVE this and want terribly to laugh, but we're in a concerted effort to teach him good behavior, so I tell him that I agree with Daddy and it's stories & nap time, so he needs to behave or he'll lose stories. He then says, "okay mommy... I'll go with you. I'm not frustrated at you... just him." Oh my god.
#6 - Don't get frustrated with her! So my son is protective of his sister, I'm discovering, and it's producing some really endearing moments. My favorite was recently when I was feeling REALLY badly about not getting to play with William because Elizabeth was having a REALLY off day and was constantly eating and never sleeping. So FINALLY, late in the afternoon, I think I'm going to get some one-on-one time with him when she passes out from exhaustion. Only, after 10 minutes of playing I hear her SCREAMING bloody murder from her crib and she's actually hungry AGAIN. I shout "AAAAAAGGGGHHHH! You're killing me!" at the top of my lungs as I walk over to her crib. William marches (and yes, I mean MARCHES) in right on my heels and is looking at me VERY seriously. He furrows his brown and says very calmly, very sternly... "Mommy! You cannot be frustrated with her, she is just a baby!" What a guy.
#7 - I'm so glad... This might be my best moment ever so far in parenting. It has been quite an adventure and an exercise in transition for both William and I since I started staying home. I had to work full time with him and now that I stay home, we have both had to get used to the changes: new baby sister, less rigid schedule, less time with the friends he got very used to at daycare, etc. I was, for a while, fearing that my decision to stay home was impacting William negatively. So I worked on sort of having a schedule at home, joining a Mom's club so he could play with other kids, etc. Well, one day, not too long ago we were walking home from the park and William chose to hold my hand (he doesn't do this often anymore as he's in his "I'll do it myself" phase). All of a sudden, he looked up at me and said, "Mommy?" "Yes William?" I asked and he said, "I'm so glad to get to stay home with me... this is nice." Man, I'm telling you, I had to take a moment so that I wouldn't cry before saying, "Thanks bud, I'm glad I get to stay home too." Man... this is the life!