Everything I learned, I learned from my 2 1/2 year old

Having a child can make give you a new outlook on life. These past 2 1/2 years I've realized that having a young child makes you appreciate what you now take for granted... like how many ladybugs you can see if you just walk around the block, how exciting a fire engine can be, how victorious one can feel when you're tall enough to use a light switch, and how interesting one's first taste of a cheese other than cheddar can be. To date, here are some of my favorite, most valuable and most humorous lessons:

1. In the case of Time Outs, 'tis better to give than to receive (yes, I've been given a time out).
2. You can say a million things while watching a sporting event and the ones your child will grab on to and repeat will be things like "Jesus Christ!" and "Holy Crap" (note to self: stop swearing or watching sports).
3. You are never too full for chocolate milk and whipped cream.
4. Just when you think your child won't pee or poop on you, they will... and laugh about it.
5. Feeding a dog is infinitely more fun than eating the food yourself.
6. Any movie a 2 1/2 year old wants to see is "really cool"
7. A park is not a necessary destination for a walk if there are bulldozers to climb on the way!
8. Potties are exciting until you HAVE to learn to use them.
9. Anything tastes better when eaten off of Mommy's plate or drunk from Mommy's cup.
10. A favorite food one day can turn to a hated item the very next day.
11. Sharing is not a necessity in life.
12. Why wear clothes when a perfectly good Batman costume is available?
13. When your child is in said Batman costume, it is not wise to address him by his given name unless you would like to be corrected (as in, " No mom! I'm Batman!")
14. It is better to supervise than to perform (e.g. when I asked William to clean up his Legos he replied, "no, I'll watch you do it.")
15. No toys at the table is an important rule, if you want your child to eat. However, putting a toy out of reach and assuring your child the toy will "watch" him eat can suddenly improve his appetite immensely.
16. "Fine I'm leaving without you," is a very motivational phrase... and one your child will turn around and use right back on you as soon as they've mastered it.
17. The best way to teach your child a rule is to let them administer the rule themselves: case in point, we use the phrase "no we're eating as a family" whenever William asks to be excused mid-dinner, but he loves for us to ask to be excused so he can repeat the rule back to us.
18. Crying is temporary... if you can live through it, you can teach a young child to sit through an entire dinner, sleep by his/herself, play quietly in a restaurant, use good manners and follow household rules.
19. Children are VERY honest... they have no qualms about rating your cooking loudly and immediately. Unfortunately, they will also do the same to other's cooking as well, so make sure friends and family are not easily insulted!
20. There is no such thing as reading one book too many times, viewing one movie too many times or doing something funny too many times. Be prepared to know the phrase "again."
21. Children can spot the TINIEST spec of something they don't like in their food (e.g. finely dicing a red bell pepper and combining it with chicken, cheese and salsa in a quesadilla is fruitless as the child WILL spot the bell pepper).
22. "But you're my buddy" is a phrase that should stop all unwanted tickling, wrestling and discipline, or so my son thinks!
23. Don't get too excited when your infant starts sleeping through the night... that ability will wax and wane over the next few years due to growth spurts, teeth, new fears, illness, etc.
24. Friends are great until they want to play with your toys.
25. It's funny to splash or squirt mommy with a bath toy while taking a bath, especially if she wears glasses.
26. You cannot make a child into a morning or night person... they will make that determination on their own.
27. The best way to teach a child good manners is to model them yourself.
28. At least once, you will laugh at inappropriate behavior despite your best efforts not to.
29. Keep a baby monitor in a kids room long after infancy... you will hear some great things as they fall asleep or wake up. (e.g. heard blaring from our monitor as he woke from a nap, "HEELLOOOOOO! Will somebody come get me!")
30. Just when you think you can't love your child any more than you already do, your heart will grow.