You Know You're a Parent When...

This is another one that I'll post here and at elizabethplavinsmom.blogspot.com since it applies to both kids. I was laughing to myself recently thinking of all the things you do as a parent without even thinking about it and that you thought you might never do. Mike and I giggle constantly about the state of our lives as parents and I thought I'd better write some down before we forget the craziness that is our life together now that we're parents.

You know you're a parent when:
1. In the dead of night at the smallest noise from the baby monitor, you can jump out of bed, charge up the stairs, move a vomiting child into a bathtub and strip a queen-size bed in less time that it takes your sleepy wife to meet you up upstairs (honors go to Mike)
2. You find yourself with a breast pump unit tucked into your sweats and the flange strapped to you via your tank top or bra so that you can pump and still get two kids ready and in the car at the same time (honors to Mariska on that one).
3. You hear "come look at this big poop!" coming from your bathroom and think nothing of it because you're used to your toddler's pride at his bowel movements.
4. You sleep sitting up on a couch with your knees up just so you can keep a sick baby propped up all night while they sleep (Mariska has done this with both children)
5. You know without having to look first that Commander Cody is downstairs with Clone Captain Rex, but their helmets and blasters are upstairs and that R2-D2 was last seen in the bathroom because you remember playing with your son and where he deposited the various elements of his Star Wars toys as he blew through the house like a tornado (Mike's the champion at this)
6. You find yourself eating a smaller meal because your child wants to "share" yours (we've both made this sacrifice - OFTEN)
7. You've uttered phrases like "look at me when I'm talking to you", "I'm the parent, I make the rules", "for the last time will you...", "who do you think you're talking to?", "put that down!", "your spoon is not a blaster", "don't climb on me, I am not a jungle gym", "keep the water INSIDE the bathtub", "I don't care who started it!", etc.
8. You've played baseball in the park with your toddler and had your infant strapped to you via a sling so they could sleep at the same time (yes, Elizabeth could sleep in the sling on my back even while I chased William around the bases!)
9. You've been kicked, hit, slapped and punched by your sleeping child because you're sharing their bed with them during a particularly bad bout of nightmares or illness.
10. You've declared a room "monster free" just so your kid would go to sleep.
11. You've used all your blankets and furniture to build a tent because you remember how much YOU loved them as a kid.
12. You've literally CRAWLED into your baby's nursery to check on them so that you're hidden behind their crib bumper because your baby is now old enough to FREAK OUT if they can see you.
13. You've found yourself singing some nursery rhyme, children's song, etc. over and over again because your child's toy has been playing it non-stop.
14. You've ever spent hours on Christams Eve night wrapping presents and putting together some gift you bought your kid without realizing how many freakin' pieces it came in.
15. You've vacuumed, dusted, washed dishes, cooked or cleaned with a child attached to you via a baby back-pack or sling (Mike and I have both done this one).
16. You've been seen walking through an airport, supermarket, etc. with a stuffed animal because your kiddo insisted they needed their buddy and then no longer wanted to carry it.
17. You've gone to work on 4 hours of sleep or less (Mike and I both hold honors in this one).
18. You've called one child by another's name (or the dog's name, your sibling's name, your spouses name, etc) because you're tired, frustrated, flustered or all three.
19. You've driven around the block (or farther) with your baby in their carseat just to get them to sleep/stop crying.
20. You've slept on the couch while your baby sleeps in their swing because you CANNOT get them to sleep anywhere else that night.
21. You've been soaked to your underwear by spit-up and you calmly finish feeding and/or cleaning your baby before changing and cleaning up yourself.
22. You've eaten a meal with a squirmy baby in your lap, usually giving up on finishing the meal becuase it's too tiring to keep playing "keep-the-spoon-fork-plate-napkin-tablecloth-cup-from-the-baby" (baby's limbs seem to stretch to fantastic lengths at the table!)
23. You've gotten to the checkout line at the market and discovered a "surprise" in your cart because your child's reach is longer than you knew and they threw in an item or two.
24. Your vehicle is littered with Cheerios, Goldfish crackers, blankets, socks, action figures and squeaky toys.
25. You take one look at your sleeping child and no matter how crazy your day has been you think, "This is the best!"