The Lessons We Teach and The Words We Say

So I've learned recently that with a 3 1/2 year old, the lessons you teach and the words you say can come back to you in so many ways. The following are some of my favorite and/or most meaningful examples from the past few weeks.

"Deep Breaths Mommy!" - So William has this habit of yelling "argh!" and slamming his fist down onto whatever is close to him whenever he is angry or frustrated and it's something I realized that he gets from both Mike and myself. So I tell him the other day that we are all going to work together as a family to handle our frustration better because it is not okay to yell or hit things. I told him that I will remind him and he must remind me and Daddy that we are to take deep breaths and count to 3. Little did I know, that little sucker would remember this lesson INSTANTLY. Now, it was charming when I heard him playing with his Clone Troopers and upon dropping one, stop himself mid "argh!" and breathe out a slow "Ooooone, Twoooooo, Threeeee". However, it was not charming the other day when I was on day two of a migraine, was totally exhausted, was trying to figure out what was causing Elizabeth's sudden onset of diarrhea and resulting blistering diaper rash and was attempting to change her. You see, she was so itchy and in so much pain from the rash (turns out the kid can't handle cow's milk yet), that as I tried to change her, she kept getting her hands in the way. And as I did not want her ingesting the lovely combo of corn starch and Butt Paste that I was applying to heal her, I was locked into an endless cycle of apply products-Elizbeth gets hands in it-mommy has to pin down legs and hands to wipe them off and reapply products (I swear this happened, like 6 times in a row and Elizabeth is now SCREAMING) that I finally screamed "Geez! I just want to get this damn diaper ON!!!" at the top of my lungs at which point I feel a little hand on my shoulder and a voice shouting over the din of Elizabeth and I... "DEEP BREATHS MOMMY!". I can laugh about it now.

"Freedom" - so Elizabeth loves to be nude and to run away from me while nude. This is a lovely little game she particularly likes to play after her bath when I've dried her off and am now reaching for one of the multitude of creams/ointments I have to apply due to her irritatingly sensitive skin. And every time she does I say, "well... there she goes! FREEEEEDOMMMM!". Now William is usually either in his own bath at this point or playing by himself or watching one of his TV shows, so I didn't really think anything of it until a funny little thing he said the other day. William and I are playing Dinosaurs while Elizabeth is napping and I notice and eyelash sitting on his cheek. So I wipe it off and tell him he can blow it away and make a wish. Now ALL this child has been talking about since he saw the commercial is this freakin' $100 remote-controlled Dinosaur named "Spike". So after he blows away the eyelash, I ask him what he wished for, fully expecting the answer to be "Spike-the-long-necked-dinosaur" (as he always says it). Instead, without missing a beat and still looking at his toy dinosaurs he says... "Freedom". I laughed so hard I think I snorted my coffee and when I could finally breath again I asked, "do you even know what freedom means?" He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment or two and then just shrugged and said, "nope."

"$100 Dinosaurs and Get Away From Me!" - People think long and hard about those very short, seemingly meaningless moments you have with your children where you may have uttered something you think they will never remember. And if you want to know your child's general impression of you... listen to them play make believe, you will find out how important those meaningless moments are. Today, William is playing with his dinosaurs and Daddy at the table while I am preparing an Easter Brunch. He has a multitude of them up there, but to three in particular, he has assigned the roles of Mommy, Daddy and Son Dinosaur. Now, it is well known in this house that I am currently my son's favorite. He freaks if it's not my turn to tuck him in and often shouts "but I want Mommy" when Dad attempts to read to him, tuck him in, wipe his butt, etc. I would be flattered, but lets face it kids... it's because I'm a stay-at-home mom so 90% of his time is spent with me. And before I could get too cocky... today's role playing with his Dinosaurs put me back in my place. In the first portion of his role-playing game Son Dinosaur and Daddy Dinosaur are at the Blue Store (Toys 'R Us) shopping for Son Dinosaur's "special treat". (William has a board wherein he earns good or bad magnets for behavior and can earn a "special treat"). Now recently, when Mike took William shopping for a "special treat" he'd earned, William asked for this freakin' Dinosaur that he saw on a commercial that is huge and remote-controlled. It's also over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. So when William asks for it, Mike very honestly replies, "William, that's like $100 dollars, it's not a special treat. That's more like a birthday present or something". So while he's role playing with his Dinosaurs his Son Dinosaur asks the Dad Dinosaur for "Spike the long necked dinosaur" and Daddy Dinosaur says, "no son, it's $100 dollars". Son Dinosaur says, "oh, I'm so sad... I really want him." To which Dad Dinosaur replies, "Oh, okay... you can have him." Mike at this point totally busts up and says, "Wow William, Daddy Dinosaur must make a lot more money that real Daddy." And I say, "well, your son obviously thinks you're a generous Daddy." Now I turn back to cooking and a little later I hear Son Dinosaur approach Mommy Dinosaur and ask her something, to which Mommy Dinosaur yells, "Get Away From Me!". I froze. Lately, William's behavior has been, let's say challenging, and in one of my least proud moments, when I was really sick and he was yelling and being horrible I yelled back, "just get away from me! Come back when you can behave". As if I didn't feel terrible enough, apparently this is the moment that stuck with my son because while it happened QUITE a while ago, he chooses this moment to role play. The worst part is that he had mommy Dinosaur say it more than once and when I remarked that Mommy Dinosaur sure seemed grumpy he just replied, "yeah... she is." Ouch. Guess who needs to work harder on not taking her frustrations out on those around her? Lesson learned William... Mommy will try to be less grumpy.

"Cheese the Rice or Cheese and Rice". The other day Mike walks up to me and asks me if I have been talking to our son recently about "cheese and rice". I am completely baffled and say, "uh... no, not that I'm aware of." "Weird," Mike replies, because William keeps getting frustrated and saying "Cheeeese the Rice" (note: that when Mike says it, it is in the tone usually reserved for muttering Jeeeesus CHRIST in frustration). I start laughing hysterically as I realize what has happened. I recently have decided that I need to remove the phrase "Jesus Christ" from my frustration vocabulary because, whether or not you believe in God, I'm thinking it's a rather offensive thing to say. Now, William knows that this is a phrase we are trying not to use so if he catches me saying it, he'll remind me that it's bad and I always own up to it and apologize. So the other day, I'm heating up a lunch of leftover Thai soup and rice that was stored separately and I totally forget to add the rice into the soup until the last minute and then proceed to spill some as I hurry to add it in because I'm starving and the kids are already working on their lunches. So as the rice skitters across my stove top I say, "Geez! The rice..." just talking to myself as I always do while cooking. I hear an exasperated sigh from the table and William says, "Deep breaths mommy! You're not supposed to say that!" Now, I can't for the life of me think what he's talking about, so I say, "what? what did I say?" And he says, "Jesus Christ, mommy... you're not supposed to say that." Now I laugh because I realize what he thinks he heard and I sputter out, "no! no! I said, geez the RICE!". He looks at me like I'm full of you-know-what and turns back to his food. Apparently, his look was because he thinks that I really did say Jesus Christ and that, in an effort to cover my tracks, I claimed to have said "cheese the RICE!". He apparently further decided however that "cheese and rice" sounds more plausible and for the past few days we've been hearing him mutter "cheese and rice" under his breath when he's frustrated. He's killin' me!