What the...?

So what is it with two year olds and straws? Can some experienced parent help me out with this one?

William has been drinking through a straw from a very young age because we skipped from bottles straight to regular cups and cups with straws so that we wouldn't have to mess with sippy cups. He's been doing great... FOREVER. Now, however, apparently straws are not for drinking. They are for either ripping out of juice/milk boxes (and dripping said drink everywhere), flipping out of aforementioned boxes in order to flick milk/juice on mommy or pushing all the way into the juice/milk box and thus rendering it useless (prompting the now overused phrase "mommy, ah need yo help!"). What the hell dude? The straw concept used to be simple. Insert straw... suck on straw. Now, however, it's a toy. A toy. A weapon. A drumstick. A whistle. Anything but a straw.

Oh and when did my sweet boy become such an opinionated, stubborn little poop? Last night Mike says "bath time" and William buries himelf beneath a blanket and out comes a muffled "no thanks!". LIKE WE WERE GIVING HIM AN OPTION! Uh no thanks? Kid... I still outweigh you by a good 100 lbs... I think I'm winning this one.

And everything is now, "MOOOOOVE MOMMY, I DO MYSELF!" We took him to see the local minor league baseball game the other night and apparently I was walking too closely behind him while he was walking down some stairs and mistaking my proximity for an attempt to help him, he shouts "No! Move, mommy! I walk myself!". I'm like "yeah I can SEE that William, I'm just walking too. Can I walk behind you?" He paused and just said, "no. move!" Now again, I'm winning this one kids... I still outweigh him and I'm STILL THE MOM! I mean, who does this little creature think he is? Insert time worn phrase - "I brought you into this world... I can take you out!" (Thank you, Bill Cosby).

The hard part is, most of the time... it makes me laugh. And I can't do that either because I need him to take my discipline seriously or I don't want him to thinking I'm laughing AT him. But it's funny. The earnest little face, the drawn eyebrows, the hand shooing me away. It's freakin' hilarious. And the drawn out "MOOOOOOOOVE!" just gets me. I think toddlers might just be the best comedic entertainment there is.