A Day in the Life and Ephesians 5:21

Since this blog applies to both my kiddos, I'm posting the same one in both places (my son's blog is williamplavinsmom.blogspot.com and my daughters is elizabethplavinsmom.blogspot.com for those who want to follow our adventures).

I belong to a mom's club and recently in the "kid in the spotlight section" of our newsletter one of the kids answered the question "what is mom's job?" in the following way:
"to keep the house clean and take care of us."
At first, the old feminist in me bristled at this and then I asked myself "why"? I am proud of my clean house, my home-cooked meals, my well-cared for kids, my son's "school time" that I do with him, etc. After all, if I were back to my old job, I would have to pay someone to watch my kids and I value that job so much that when I WAS a working mom we intereviewed quite a few people before we found our day care provider. If I didn't have the time to clean my house, I would pay someone to do that. So why was I feeling like what I did wasn't important? And then I realized it's because I was letting what others thought get the best of me. I was forgetting the awesome job I have and the awesome partnership I have with my husband that lets me do it to my fullest.

So many people (unfortunately men in particular, but women as well) look down on stay-at-home mothers (or fathers these days) and/or think of them as living a life of liesure. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I've found the old stereotypes alive and well as I've discovered my two least favorite phrases are "so what do you do all day?" from either nonparents or working parents and "but I worked all day" from the working 1/2 of husband and wife team where one stays at home (as an excuse to do absolutely nothing upon arriving home from work).
Well, I've never been one to live my life based on what others think and I'm not going to start now.
So to the latter statement I say - "SO DID YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND WHO WAS HOME ALL DAY WITH THE KIDS!!! AND THEIR DAY STARTED BEFORE YOURS AND ENDED AFTER YOURS!!".

And as to the former statement here (so I may never forget) is 24 hours taken from this week and just remember that this "job" is one I don't get to quit at 5:00, I don't get a break from on weekends and that I do whether I'm sick, well, had 8 hours of sleep or only 3, have a migraine or a sinus infection. It's a job that starts at 5:45 am and ends around 11:30 pm:

5:45 am - woken by baby, nursed until 6:15 am
6:15 am - 6:45 am pumped milk to store for later
6:45 am - 8:00 am did yoga and showered, brushed teeth , dried hair
8:00 am - 8:30 am nursed baby in one arm while playing "clone troopers" with my 3 year old with the free hand
8:30 am - 9:00 am pumped milk with one hand while continuing to play clone troopers with my 3 year old with the other hand
9:00 am - 9:10 am made baby oatmeal and steamed apple chunks for breakfast
9:10 am - 9:40 am made family breakfast while running back & forth to baby's booster to feed her her breakfast
9:40 am - 10:20 am ate breakfast with family (yes, it takes this long with a 3 year old)
10:20 am - 10:40 am put baby down for morning nap and cleaned up breakfast dishes/counters, etc.
10:40 am - 11:15 am did "school time" with my 3 year old
11:15 am - 11:20 am cleaned up school time and started bringing out toys for 3 year old
11:20 am - 12:00 pm nursed baby & pumped again and played with 3 year old at the same time
12:00 pm - 12:20 pm played with both kids (and threw some laundry in for good measure)
12:20 pm - 12:45 pm made baby's lunch and our lunch
12:45 pm - 1:15 pm ate with kids
1:15 pm - 2:00 pm got kids upstairs, to the potty/diaper change, did some toy "cleanup time" with 3 year old, read stories and put them down for afternoon naps
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm cleaned up lunch mess, cleaned up baby's toys, folded laundry, put in two more loads of laundry, started some dinner prep and cleaned one toilet
4:00 pm - 5:15 pm nursed baby & pumped again, spent some "floor time" playing with baby
5:15 pm - 5:45 pm both kids now up, spent some play time and then clean up time with them and hubby
5:45 pm - 6:40 pm prepared baby's dinner and then our own
6:40 pm - 7:25 pm fed baby and ate dinner with the family
7:25 pm - 8:05 pm while hubby did dishes and cleaned up kitchen, I bathed & dressed baby and then bathed & dressed 3 year old, brushed his teeth and hair
8:05 pm - 9:00 pm while hubby fed baby, I read to 3 year old and conked out from exhaustion for about 20 minutes in his bed while we had his lullabyes on
9:00 pm - 9:30 pm pre-prepped tomorrow's breakfast and packed lunches for tomorrow's morning playtime at Tiny Tots
9:30 pm - 10:00 pm organized clothes for Tiny Tots clothing exchange while watching TV with hubby
10:00 pm - 11:00 pm put away more laundry and planned grocery list while watching more TV with hubby
11:00 pm - 11:30 pm got car packed up for tomorrow's outing to Tiny Tots and got ready for bed.
11:30 - 5:45 am slept until baby woke me again.

This is how my "work day" goes. And I'm proud of it. I'm proud to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm honored to know so many stay-at-home moms and dads who work so hard and I'm honored to know the spouses who actually support those who stay-at-home not just financially, but with thanks, love and by pitching in when they get home because they understand that their spouse also "worked all day." And I'm proud to say that one reason I can enjoy my job is because I have an equal partner in life, in marriage and in child rearing.

I'm horrified to say that my new life has unfortunately introduced me to too many who do not have supportive spouses (except financially.) I feel so blessed to have the husband I have, although quite frankly, I would have settled for nothing less. Too many I've met have settled for less and work their fingers to the bone while feeling resentful and underappreciated. And with them I share a verse I love from the Bible that is the key to a successful partnership:

Ephesians 5:21 says "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ".

Now, even if you're not a Christian and reverence doesn't factor in... the first part is the key. It's the part often left out of wedding vows and or exhortations to husbands and wives. To submit literally means to "defer to another" or to "accept another's will" and I've always said that I have no problem giving to Mike completely without thought for myself because he in turn does the same. He doesn't sit around like a king letting me do all the submitting (and to those who wonder, no he's not a Christian. yet he acts more like one that most I know). He gives and I give. We don't have to worry about caring for ourselves because we know the other will care for us. And most importantly, we BOTH care for our kids. We both "work", cook, clean, change diapers, wipe butts, give baths, read stories, tuck in, clean up vomit, discipline and love. We submit to one another.

So let me say again, I'm proud to be a stay-at-home mom and I'm good at it. I'm proud of the partnership I've forged with my husband and someday, lest either one of my children ever THINK of uttering one of my two hated phrases or forget to appreciate the work done by their own spouses or parents, I will show them this blog to let them know how awesome a job-well-done can be.