Heard From The Throne

So my son being potty trained has brought on a whole new joy in life... words heard from the throne. My son is rather chatty, you see, and lately has taken to taking his time on the potty and so Mike and I often tell him to just call us when he's done. Well, while we're waiting for him... we often hear some lovely gems from his perch on the potty. Here are some of our favorites:

"Ummm (sigh) no... I'm just calming down" - his response after I asked him if he was done after a particularly long silence on the pot.

"Can I have a book?" - I died. My son is already taking to potty reading, and he can't read!

"ABCD..." - he decided to sing his ABC's one day on the potty when it was taking a long time to go #2.

"My penis is still peeing"

"You can't come in yet"

"Can you read me a story in here?"

"No mommy, you can't come in... I asked Oom Kyle" - when I attempted to check on him in the potty and his uncle (Oom Kyle) was over.

"The poop's not coming out... I need belly stuff!" - he loves to ask for "belly stuff" which is either children tums or his gummy vitamins or Children's Tylenol.

"I didn't POOP, I just tooted!" -Yelled at me after telling me he was ready for me to come in.

Here, however, is our absolute favorite... which was more of a tirade than a statement. Last night William was having an upset tummy night and made 4, count 'em 4, trips to the potty at bed-time and Mike and I were lying on his bed waiting for him to finish. Mike called "are you done yet!?" from his bedroom and this is what followed:

"Quiet Daddy! I'm not talking to you... I'm talking to mommy!"
(Mike interrupts with, 'well mommy's lying down so I'm getting you')
"Shhhh! Daddy, I'm talking to MOMMY! You can't talk to me and you can't come in. I'm not done yet and I'm talking to mommy and I'm not talking to you.
(Mike interrupts with 'don't you talk to me that way' and then whispers to me trying not to laugh... 'our son just shhhh'd me!')
"Quiet Daddy! I'm not talking to you. I'm not talking to you and I'm talking to mommy and mommy's coming in and you be quiet because I'm talking to mom..."
(Mike and I are now howling with laughter... William can be heard laughing too and continues) "So you can't come in and I'm not done and I'm just sitting here. I'm talking to mommy and I'm not ready and I'm just sitting here".
(I try to calm down and ask, totally choking and laughing... 'are you done yet? can mommy come in?') He replies (singing the last word in a high pitched voice)
"nooooo... I'm still working on my POOOOOPS!".
At this point, Mike and I are laughing so hard we're CRYING, and imitating him singing the word POOOOOPS. We cannot believe this is our kid. I finally manage to calm down enough to ask him if I can come in yet and he says "yes", but when I go in he's STILL not done. So I go and lie down on the couch in the playroom (You can see into the bathroom from there) and wait for him to finish. At last he lets me clean him up and put on his jammies and he looks at me innocently like it's not bedtime and we haven't spent the last 1/2 hour waiting for him to finish so we can continue our bedtime ritual and asks:

"Wanna play?"

Holy crap, who is this child?